Sex and Children: Where Did I come From?

For sex and children, parents need not to go into every detail about a man and woman relationship. There is no lovemaking and reproduction explanation in order to answer the question of the child about sex. A child’s inquiry like “Where did I come from?” is a similar innocent question like “Where did that tall building come from?”

If parents can say easily that the building was built by carpenters, then they can also answer to the question about “where did I come from?” The right answer is: “The child came from the love between a mother and a father.” This is normally enough to give satisfaction to the young child. The simpler the answer, the better it will be. This is the secret answer about sex to children: being true, simple, and concise.

Making some stories about the origin of the child is not harmful, but there is an additional problem of weaving up the story. Later on the child needs to unlearn the wrong answer if he gets older to understand the truth.

For sex and children, there is no strict formula as to what age to give about the sensitive subject matter. It depends on the preparedness on the individual child. If he begins asking question, that is your cue to start explaining before he asks. The subject matter about it is still beyond his understanding.

The proper rule is to give the child what he is ready for. Parents who avoid the question, “Where did I come from?” are, in effect, blocking the child’s potential to learn the truth at early age. This can make him to wonder why his parents don’t want him to understand these things. He may have the notion that sex is probably something shameful and bad.

Children learn about this thing from the actions and attitudes of their parents, not only through words. The tone of the message is far more important than its wordings or the approach they use. A positive attitude on the part of the parents is important to children’s appreciation about sex and their body. So the next time your child asks, “Where did I come from?” make sure to know precisely what to answer.