0 Stages in Growing Up: From 6 years old to 12 (part 2)

Stages in growing up

The stages in growing up (from six to 12) are usually on the move, going, doing, trying, and seeing different things.  Perhaps they are described as restless.  Because they love being active, they easily miscalculate how dangerous their exploits can be.  They become overconfident and, lacking judgement, have accidents.

 

Nervous reactions such as nail biting, twitches or tics, or finger drumming may suddenly appear.  They are usually caused by anxiety and can fade as swiftly as they appear.  Parents and teachers can help reduce anxiety by having realistic expectations and goals.  Children need adults to praise their efforts, regardless of the outcome.  In other words, the effort, as well as the achievement, needs recognition.  The environment thus created is one in which young people are willing to take risks as they try to find out who they are for these stages in growing up.

Children between six to twelve are eager to learn and are interested in a wide variety of things.  Generally, they can speak better than they can write, and they like hearing themselves talk.  They delight in repeating a story that has gory or scary details.  They willfully dominate conversations and may need some help in learning to share the spotlight.

The stages in growing up (from six to 12) have a strong desire for peer acceptance.  They might participate in sports or join clubs devoted to some special interest and thus begin forming a peer-group identity.  They usually like the stability of having a best friend of the same sex.  Together, they share secrets, interests, and enemies. They attack their enemies, verbally or physically, without realizing how devastating their words or actions might be.  Parents must maintain a delicate balance between interceding and letting the young people work out conflicts on their own.

As children identify themselves with peers, they want to dress like other members of the group and they sometimes go along with collective decisions, even when they know their parents would disapprove.  To pre-adolescents, the admiration and respect of their peers are more important than how their parents or teachers regard their behavior.  They might show off, boast, act silly, or even break the law to gain peer approval.  They seem to enjoy the shock value of using swears words, belching, and passing gas; and they roar with laughter over their blatant obnoxiousness. The stages in growing up (from six to 12) are well aware of what is acceptable and unacceptable and seem to love defying family standards.

On the other hand, pre-adolescents fear rejection by their parents as well as rejection by their friends.  This puts parents in a difficult position—they have the responsibility of keeping their children safe, of enforcing family rules, and of maintaining family values without seeming to reject or belittle the children.  During these stages in growing up it is imperative that parents maintain an atmosphere in which the children feel free to discuss their feelings. Their complaints, even when seemingly unjust or ridiculous, should be discussed, not dismissed.

If pre-adolescents are frequently made to feel ashamed of themselves, they may threaten to behave in self-destructive ways.  Threats of leaving home or harming themselves are too serious to be taken lightly.  When a youngster feels there is no hope, he or she needs professional help.  Family therapy can help the child and parents become more effective with each other.

As children pass through these stages in growing up, parents need to continually believe that there will be a positive outcome.  The hope-filled attitude will encourage everyone involved.  Undoubtedly there isn’t a more challenging job than being a parent; at the same time, there isn’t a job with more potential satisfaction and joy.

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Stages in Growing Up: From 6 years old to 12 (part 2) is a blog post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

Related topic to read on:

• Stages in Growing Up: 18 months to Two Years Old
•  Stages in Growing Up: Four to Five Years Old
• Three-Year-Olds: Stages in Growing Up (12 Tips)   
•  Stages in Growing Up: From Six to Twelve Years Old  
  

Detail: Stages in Growing Up: From 6 years old to 12 (part 2)

0 Stages in Growing Up: From Six to Twelve Years Old

stages in growing up: 6 to 12 years old

During these stages in growing up, children may occasionally demonstrate regression behavior, such as clinging to a parent, demanding special attention, or throwing temper tantrums.  Children of this age are very anxious for peer acceptance and, as a result, try to control their immature behavior at school and in social settings.  As a result, parents and siblings are the targets of their frustration and anger.  These children are no longer predominantly influenced by their families; now teachers and peers play a significant role in their lives.  The social and academic aspects of school also influence a child’s development.

 Children at these stages in growing up, begin to learn about the test abstract ideas, such as being fair or being honest.  At first, they will often expect other people to adhere to such principles, while they bend rules to accommodate themselves.  For example, they might loudly criticize someone caught lying and then, a few minutes later, tell a lie themselves.  This testing of principles helps children learn about acceptable behavior and personal responsibilities.

A child’s fear of failure, at home or at school, can lead to an intense feeling of inferiority and can endanger his or her emotional health.  To avoid this, children must be made to feel accepted and loved by their parents, and the parents should refrain from constant criticism.  Under these circumstances, even when failures do occur, the children can keep their fragile, emerging self-concept from becoming negative or defeatist.

Children in these stages in growing up are often described as argumentative, rebellious, oppositional, irritable with their parents—and affectionate and appreciative.  Their sudden mood swings are not easy for parents to handle and it is a major challenge to remain calm, understand what is happening, and try to deal with it constructively.  Pre-adolescents generally respond well to negotiating as a means of resolving conflict.  Parents who react to misbehavior by letting their children see the logical consequences of their actions help them discover what is fair and why.

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 Stages in Growing Up: From Six to Twelve Years Old  is a blog post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

Related topic to read on:

• Stages in Growing Up: 18 months to Two Years Old
•  Stages in Growing Up: Four to Five Years Old
• Three-Year-Olds: Stages in Growing Up (12 Tips)  

Detail: Stages in Growing Up: From Six to Twelve Years Old

0 Stages in Growing Up: From Birth to 18 Months

Stages in Growing up: from birth to 18 months.

During the early stages in growing up (from birth to 18 months) babies learn to trust their environment and their caretakers when their needs are consistently met.  Babies cry to signal hunger, pain, or discomfort, or when they are overly tired.  When adults meet their needs with attention and affection, babies begin to feel safe in their world.

Babies need the stimulation of movies, music, picture books, colorful objects, simple toys, and a lot of chatters.  But don’t overdo it; they need quiet time, too.  The early months of life are a period of great discovery as babies find their hands, their feet, and other parts of their bodies.  As the stages in growing up continue,  babies experiment with their own sounds and try to imitate the sounds they hear. Eventually, they can imitate the words of others.

Some of the physical milestones of development are sitting, standing, crawling, walking, and throwing things down. As babies begin to move around and discover things to play with, parents are tempted to show them how things work.  Resisting the impulse to teach, allowing children to discover as much as possible on their own is important for their growth and self-esteem.

During these stages in growing up, daily routines provide many opportunities for children to take charge of themselves.  Usually before their first birthday children will be able to feed themselves.  When this happens, parents should present healthy food choices and let the children select what to put into their mouths.

During the first 18 months, it is especially important that children receive encouragement from their parents during these stages in growing up.  They need to feel wanted, appreciated, and loved.  This period of a child’s life is critical in forming a positive foundation for the future. 

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Stages in Growing Up: From Birth to 18 Months  is a blog post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

Related topic to read on:

• Stages in Growing Up: 18 months to Two Years Old
•  Stages in Growing Up: Four to Five Years Old
• Three-Year-Olds: Stages in Growing Up (12 Tips) 

Detail: Stages in Growing Up: From Birth to 18 Months