0 Stages in Growing Up: From 6 years old to 12 (part 2)

Stages in growing up

The stages in growing up (from six to 12) are usually on the move, going, doing, trying, and seeing different things.  Perhaps they are described as restless.  Because they love being active, they easily miscalculate how dangerous their exploits can be.  They become overconfident and, lacking judgement, have accidents.

 

Nervous reactions such as nail biting, twitches or tics, or finger drumming may suddenly appear.  They are usually caused by anxiety and can fade as swiftly as they appear.  Parents and teachers can help reduce anxiety by having realistic expectations and goals.  Children need adults to praise their efforts, regardless of the outcome.  In other words, the effort, as well as the achievement, needs recognition.  The environment thus created is one in which young people are willing to take risks as they try to find out who they are for these stages in growing up.

Children between six to twelve are eager to learn and are interested in a wide variety of things.  Generally, they can speak better than they can write, and they like hearing themselves talk.  They delight in repeating a story that has gory or scary details.  They willfully dominate conversations and may need some help in learning to share the spotlight.

The stages in growing up (from six to 12) have a strong desire for peer acceptance.  They might participate in sports or join clubs devoted to some special interest and thus begin forming a peer-group identity.  They usually like the stability of having a best friend of the same sex.  Together, they share secrets, interests, and enemies. They attack their enemies, verbally or physically, without realizing how devastating their words or actions might be.  Parents must maintain a delicate balance between interceding and letting the young people work out conflicts on their own.

As children identify themselves with peers, they want to dress like other members of the group and they sometimes go along with collective decisions, even when they know their parents would disapprove.  To pre-adolescents, the admiration and respect of their peers are more important than how their parents or teachers regard their behavior.  They might show off, boast, act silly, or even break the law to gain peer approval.  They seem to enjoy the shock value of using swears words, belching, and passing gas; and they roar with laughter over their blatant obnoxiousness. The stages in growing up (from six to 12) are well aware of what is acceptable and unacceptable and seem to love defying family standards.

On the other hand, pre-adolescents fear rejection by their parents as well as rejection by their friends.  This puts parents in a difficult position—they have the responsibility of keeping their children safe, of enforcing family rules, and of maintaining family values without seeming to reject or belittle the children.  During these stages in growing up it is imperative that parents maintain an atmosphere in which the children feel free to discuss their feelings. Their complaints, even when seemingly unjust or ridiculous, should be discussed, not dismissed.

If pre-adolescents are frequently made to feel ashamed of themselves, they may threaten to behave in self-destructive ways.  Threats of leaving home or harming themselves are too serious to be taken lightly.  When a youngster feels there is no hope, he or she needs professional help.  Family therapy can help the child and parents become more effective with each other.

As children pass through these stages in growing up, parents need to continually believe that there will be a positive outcome.  The hope-filled attitude will encourage everyone involved.  Undoubtedly there isn’t a more challenging job than being a parent; at the same time, there isn’t a job with more potential satisfaction and joy.

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Stages in Growing Up: From 6 years old to 12 (part 2) is a blog post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

Related topic to read on:

• Stages in Growing Up: 18 months to Two Years Old
•  Stages in Growing Up: Four to Five Years Old
• Three-Year-Olds: Stages in Growing Up (12 Tips)   
•  Stages in Growing Up: From Six to Twelve Years Old  
  

Detail: Stages in Growing Up: From 6 years old to 12 (part 2)

0 Stages in Growing Up: From Six to Twelve Years Old

stages in growing up: 6 to 12 years old

During these stages in growing up, children may occasionally demonstrate regression behavior, such as clinging to a parent, demanding special attention, or throwing temper tantrums.  Children of this age are very anxious for peer acceptance and, as a result, try to control their immature behavior at school and in social settings.  As a result, parents and siblings are the targets of their frustration and anger.  These children are no longer predominantly influenced by their families; now teachers and peers play a significant role in their lives.  The social and academic aspects of school also influence a child’s development.

 Children at these stages in growing up, begin to learn about the test abstract ideas, such as being fair or being honest.  At first, they will often expect other people to adhere to such principles, while they bend rules to accommodate themselves.  For example, they might loudly criticize someone caught lying and then, a few minutes later, tell a lie themselves.  This testing of principles helps children learn about acceptable behavior and personal responsibilities.

A child’s fear of failure, at home or at school, can lead to an intense feeling of inferiority and can endanger his or her emotional health.  To avoid this, children must be made to feel accepted and loved by their parents, and the parents should refrain from constant criticism.  Under these circumstances, even when failures do occur, the children can keep their fragile, emerging self-concept from becoming negative or defeatist.

Children in these stages in growing up are often described as argumentative, rebellious, oppositional, irritable with their parents—and affectionate and appreciative.  Their sudden mood swings are not easy for parents to handle and it is a major challenge to remain calm, understand what is happening, and try to deal with it constructively.  Pre-adolescents generally respond well to negotiating as a means of resolving conflict.  Parents who react to misbehavior by letting their children see the logical consequences of their actions help them discover what is fair and why.

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 Stages in Growing Up: From Six to Twelve Years Old  is a blog post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

Related topic to read on:

• Stages in Growing Up: 18 months to Two Years Old
•  Stages in Growing Up: Four to Five Years Old
• Three-Year-Olds: Stages in Growing Up (12 Tips)  

Detail: Stages in Growing Up: From Six to Twelve Years Old

0 Stages in Growing Up: From Birth to 18 Months

Stages in Growing up: from birth to 18 months.

During the early stages in growing up (from birth to 18 months) babies learn to trust their environment and their caretakers when their needs are consistently met.  Babies cry to signal hunger, pain, or discomfort, or when they are overly tired.  When adults meet their needs with attention and affection, babies begin to feel safe in their world.

Babies need the stimulation of movies, music, picture books, colorful objects, simple toys, and a lot of chatters.  But don’t overdo it; they need quiet time, too.  The early months of life are a period of great discovery as babies find their hands, their feet, and other parts of their bodies.  As the stages in growing up continue,  babies experiment with their own sounds and try to imitate the sounds they hear. Eventually, they can imitate the words of others.

Some of the physical milestones of development are sitting, standing, crawling, walking, and throwing things down. As babies begin to move around and discover things to play with, parents are tempted to show them how things work.  Resisting the impulse to teach, allowing children to discover as much as possible on their own is important for their growth and self-esteem.

During these stages in growing up, daily routines provide many opportunities for children to take charge of themselves.  Usually before their first birthday children will be able to feed themselves.  When this happens, parents should present healthy food choices and let the children select what to put into their mouths.

During the first 18 months, it is especially important that children receive encouragement from their parents during these stages in growing up.  They need to feel wanted, appreciated, and loved.  This period of a child’s life is critical in forming a positive foundation for the future. 

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Stages in Growing Up: From Birth to 18 Months  is a blog post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

Related topic to read on:

• Stages in Growing Up: 18 months to Two Years Old
•  Stages in Growing Up: Four to Five Years Old
• Three-Year-Olds: Stages in Growing Up (12 Tips) 

Detail: Stages in Growing Up: From Birth to 18 Months

0 Stages in Growing up: 18 months to Two Years Old

18 months to 2 years old

Children of these stages in growing up (18 months to two years old) are full of energy.  They love to explore and to manipulate objects, and they can entertain themselves for short periods.  As their major muscles develop, their walking skills increase.  Parents should be patient and offer encouragement as they begin to develop bladder control and, later, control their bowels.

 Children of these stages in growing up begin to learn what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour as they test limits.  Constant adult supervision is still necessary, because toddlers cannot determine what behaviour is safe and what is potentially dangerous.  Small children respond well to known routines.  Something as minor as a sandwich that is cut in a new way can cause distress. 

They like being with other children although they usually play near or with a parent.  The children watch each other and often imitate each other, but without interacting.  Many toddlers have trouble making choices.  They are demanding, often inflexible, and constantly in motion.

Toddlers quickly learn to manipulate their parents through tears and tantrums.  Small children are more likely to become upset when they are tired, hungry, or rushed.  Often tantrums can be avoided when parents carefully plan routine and are clear about what is acceptable behaviour.   

When parents are overly controlling or critical, however, children can become filled with self-doubt.  Although children of these stages in growing up (18 months to two years old) can be trying, they can also be loving companions—and fun to be with.

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Stages in Growing Up: 18 months to Two Years Old  is a blog post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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•  Stages in Growing Up: Four to Five Years Old
• Three-Year-Olds: Stages in Growing Up (12 Tips) 

Detail: Stages in Growing up: 18 months to Two Years Old

0 Three-year-olds: Stages in Growing Up (12 Tips)

Stages in growing up.

  1.   Three-year-olds begin to show both mental and physical independence.  They are proud of their accomplishments and delight in demonstrating them.  These stages in growing up will help develop their coordination for them to be able to ride on toy cars.  

  2.   They can entertain themselves by making simple  drawings or playing with blocks.  Their communication skills are developed enough for them to tell simple stories or repeat nursery rhymes.  Stages in growing up help the three-year-olds to be independent enough to do many care-taking activities, such as using the bathroom.  

3.   With a little assistance, three-year-olds can dress themselves (although they may have problems with buttons) and they have an easy time getting undressed on their own.

4.   At about three and a half, children may become awkward and, on occasion, stumble and fall.  They might develop stuttering or nervous habits, which could be caused by stress or insecurity.  Parents should not panic, but try to find the cause of the stress and eliminate it if possible.

5.   Children of these stages in growing up have fewer temper tantrums because they can do so many things for themselves.  Unlike younger children, who use “no” with great frequency, three-year-olds use “yes.” They have more patience about having to “wait a few minutes.” 

6.   While toddlers have troubles adapting to sudden changes in plans, three-year-olds like new experiences and are usually willing to try most of the things parents suggest.  They are increasingly more social with adults, they learn to share, and they begin to show real, and they love participating in long sessions of acted-out make-believe.

7.   These stages in growing up help kids express emotional insecurity by crying and whining, and frequently they want parents to reassure them of their love.  Three-year-olds seek this assurance through a paradoxical approach, vehemently saying, “You don’t love me.”  

8.   By three and a half, many children are jealous of anyone or anything that takes away the attention of their parents or friends.  Three-years-olds often say they want to be just like their parents.  They express love through their words and their actions. 

9.   At these stages in growing up, children might inform everyone that they are going to grow up and marry their parent of the opposite sex.  They need to be told that their plan is impossible, but reassure them that they will have their own especial person when they grow up.

10.   Parents can expect their children to inundate them with questions during this period.  Children like to give their own answers and then hear what the adult has to say.

11.   A movie, a television show, or something the child hears might cause fears that become greatly inflated at bedtime; the three-year-olds literally believe that the monsters are out to get him or her, and demand help.  When this occurs, it is imperative that the parents become understanding and comforting to the child.

12.   It is important that a child of this age learn self-control, how to behave in the company of others, and how to communicate frustrations through words instead of tears and tantrums.  Parents need to be patient and set limits.  The stages in growing up of three-year-olds need to know that their parents have confidence in them, as well as love them.

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Three-Year-Olds: Stages in Growing Up (12 Tips)  is a blog post on  Modern Parenting Tips: Styles & Approach to Train & Discipline Children

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•     Stages in Growing Up: Four to Five Years Old
  

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0 Stages in Growing up: Four to Five Years Old

Stages in growing up

1.  Pre-school and kindergarten stages in growing up provide an opportunity for children to meet new people and face new challenges.  This is a time when children like learning start to develop the ability to cooperate with others.  By five, most kids have already learned to play a variety of roles. Examples: a follower of older children, a bossy leader of younger children, and a cooperative partner with a peer. 

2.  Children begin to have strong preferences in playmates and identify with people of their own sex. As four to five years old children pass through these stages in growing up, their play becomes more complex as their cognitive skills develop.  Even though they may invent imaginary friends and make up stories they insist are true, children at this stage begin to understand the difference between the real and the imaginary.   

3.  Four to five years old stages in growing up ask detailed questions that require thoughtful answers.  They also are curious about their past because hearing about their past helps them feel bigger in the present.  At this time, children become more emotionally independent and are frequently more interested in spending time with their peers than with their parents.

4.  Encouraged by their friends, 4-year-olds often consciously break rules and behave inappropriately.  With or without provocation, they might bite, pinch, hit, or kick; throw or intentionally break things; call people’s names; or use profanity.  These stages of growing up assert the children’s independence by defying parents and teachers.  Angry reactions from adults are often met with smirks and a general attitude that communicates “You can’t get me.” 

5.  Children often experience mood swings at this stage of development.  They begin to understand the concept of “right” and “wrong” but test “wrong” to get adult attention.  Parents have to choose when, where, and how to respond.  Some things can be ignored but it is imperative to react strongly and firmly to the rest.

6.  Four to five years old stages in growing up can take care of themselves in their daily routines.  They might become fussy about their clothing, and they like others to admire what they are wearing.  They enjoy helping around the house, but they usually forget to do the chores they have been assigned.  They may be very sloppy about taking care of their clothes and toys and show a disregard for other people’s things. 

7.  Concentration spans lengthen and, by four and a half, many children spend long periods building, painting, or playing dress up.  They like completing what they begin and the uninterrupted time they require should be provided whenever possible.

8.  Fears recede in intensity and begin to shift from fantasy.  These stages in growing up may worry them about the safety of their parents and the possibility of abandonment.  As children move from four to five years old in life, parents often find them to be more emotionally stable. 

9.  They are more predictable and wild outbursts generally disappear.  Almost overnight children of this age become helpful, cooperative, and very responsive to praise.  Their defiance evaporates, they want to do things the right way, and they are extremely sensitive to criticism. 

10.  Their self-concept is largely drawn from how they think teachers and parents view them.  If they haven’t been ridiculed or constantly criticized, four to five years old move through the year of developing a sense of purpose, inner control, and direction.  The goal of stages in growing up for them is to feel comfortable and capable in their world.

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Detail: Stages in Growing up: Four to Five Years Old